Seattle...1994...

I can't believe that 15 years have passed. In February of 1994 I left the comfort and familiarity of home for the open road. Having always done what (I thought) was expected of me, I had done just enough to get by, always longing for some form of escape (usually chemical in nature).

Somehow I had managed to graduate from college with decent, certainly not stellar, grades and had landed a sales job in the burgeoning cellular telephone industry. Somehow I managed to do quite well for a twentysomething and made quite a bit of money. In hindsight, it wasn't a lot of money but considering material things never mattered much I stockpiled money.

It was during this time that my issues began to blossom. I reached full blown alchoholic status during this time. It seemed the more successful I became the further away my sense of self appeared from "above" and thus the farther to fall. I ran headlong into the insanities of the bottle. To make matters worse I lived about a block away from my local bar where I hung with my drinking buddy and I was, uh, close to the bartender and drank for free. Cliff and Norm were we. We'd give a $10 bill to pay for the liquor and get a $5 and 5 $1 bills in return. At the end of the night it was nothing to leave a pile of money on the counter for a tip. Jack Daniel shots were lined up and I'd knock 'em down one after the other.

It was during this time that the blackouts began, waking up in the morning and not remembering getting home, ending up in strange apartments, finding strange people in my apartment, doing really strange things. I began sleeping in 'til late morning, showing up at work to make an appearance and going back home to bed to do it all again. It wasn't until I almost lost my job that I quit drinking. I quit cold turkey. But not really.

It was also at this time that the shift from alcohol to drugs began. I don't remember exactly how but I soon learned of other employees who smoked weed on a regular basis. Looking for another distraction and really not caring I decided to give it a whirl. A new love affair had begun.