Poems...

Not saying they are good poems or even poems at all but dug them up out of some old writings and found them interesting, even if only as expressions stamping times and places of my life.

Creativity (3/94 Missoula)

No substance
Being
The end.

To the Man on the 9th Floor (4/1/94 Portland)

Seeing
Not hearing
A transparent barrier
Not experiencing.

Listening
Not hearing
A transparent barrier
Not caring.

Two worlds
Lost in between.

Suicide

Why go on?

Exactly.

Four Months Ago (6/12/94 Youngstown)

I’ve gone to hell and back to get where I am right now.
I’m leaving on the first flight back tomorrow.

Serving You Since 1992 (Seattle, Safeway. 1994)

You serve me at the grocery store
But you never acknowledge me
As more than a customer.

Never once gave me a smile
Never once gave me a moment
To know how I feel
About you.

The Elf (1994 Seattle)

She’s tiny
And small
And smells
And crawls around the block
So fragile as to drift with the wind
Purity in another form.

A scavenger
For food to feed the insatiable hunger
That drives her that drove her that consumed her
And left her
Here.
Starving.

She walks below
And she walks
Beneath us
Protecting us from the coming monsoon.

She slides each napkin
Each Twinkie wrapper
Each cigarette butt
With her right foot
The pain causing her to grit her crystal teeth
Her powdery bones brittle
Her left foot providing the force
The trash providing the glide across the pavement
Enabling her to move to the can
(please put litter in its place)
Where no one (...chooses to...) will notice.

"I can’t bend down, my broken hip," she says
To no one in particular
Perhaps to God
Who doesn’t hear her cry
But still she believes.

As I bend effortlessly
To lend a hand
She gives me a look, a wink, a smile
She knows I know
We understand.
And she quietly
So quietly
Cleans up the trash
Left by the tie
The very tie that binds

The fear
Fear that she (we) is (are) one with us (her)
Is all that separates
Desperation from security.

Pushing a Broom (Youngstown, 8/10/05)

My soul fell out
Gone
Nowhere left to fall
Nothing left to fall
Naked as Adam
At the very moment
Where he tasted
For the first time
Felt
Sensed
Awakened
His soul emptied
Overwhelmed
By awareness
I was there
And there was nothing

Tremendous
Horrifying
Rushing
For a moment
Just a moment
Removed
Hovering
Suspended
Raw
With nothing
But a hollowness
My heart
A gaping hole
Never have I felt
So alone
Beyond alone
Only

My cover blown
Floating
I return
And feel the weight
Of the world
Now knowing
Protection
By its absence
So afraid
So alive

All I know
Is
I never
Want to feel
That
Way
Again.