Signs, Signs, Everywhere The Signs

So why can't I make the leap? Grandkids? Wife? Don't feel like dealing with the evangelicals/charismatics in the family? Not up to debate? Too much effort, more easy to be a 'passive' Orthodox believer without the commitment? 

Not sure. All I know is the more I listen to these sermons the more I know that I am aligned with th't is theology and not that of the 'modern' church.  The excitement, the rock concert (or rave) vibe. the enthusiasm that is equated with "true" worship is not my thing. 

When a pastor calls for everyone to raise their hands or raise their voices to show God our "true" worship I usually do the opposite. I'm not one to do something just because someone tells me to do it. I don't always want to talk about God, God, God as after a while it ceases to lose its import. 

After five years of immigration battling when someone says 'look what God did' I am initially irritated. Not that I don't believe it but that this whole thing short changes the how of it all. I put in the hours and hours of work and stress and effort, guided perhaps by His hand (or He cleans up my mis-steps), but there is no snapping of fingers and it is suddenly done. 

I want to get into the minutiae of what took place. That, to me, is where God 'does' what He does. I am often accused of taking the credit but the opposite is true: I like to think of myself as a pliable instrument. "I" am doing the work here in the flesh but behind it all is the mystery of His machinations toward an expected end, though often that end is different than our expected end. 

This is not a name it and claim theology, at least not without the work. Perhaps we envision the end and move toward that end but this isn't a claim it and sit back. If anything. that 'naming' gives us the goal toward which we must strive. We may rest in Him but the work is done by us. 

I think I am averse to this whole 'American' Christian culture so perhaps the appeal of Orthodoxy is the fact that it is old and unchanging but I would argue it is the depth of the theology, of the tradition, which has been passed down (and not 'tradition' as empty ritual), that is appealing. 

It goes so much deeper than that of the pop theology that gets blurred with modern day self-help messages, where the goal of the faith is self-serving. There is no 'death' in much of modern Christian teaching. 

I am effectively done with the the 'popular' Christian faith and though it may have its merits it simply does not hold my interest and I find solace in the writing of the Fathers and the messages of such priests as Patrick Reardon and John Behr. 

Everything Happens For A Reason

My wife and I got into a, uh, discussion the other night about the statement, often well intended, that 'everything happens for a reason.'

I personally cannot stand the statement. Acts of heinous disregard for the value of human life all happen for a reason? Absurd, especially if we are Christian (though truth be told many Christians fall prey to this without giving the statement much thought).

The 'everything happens for a reason' statement if we are not careful makes it sound as if God planned for someone to be murdered, killed in a car crash or far, far worse, as if it was all pre-planned. Again, on that assumption it is absurd.

I hold to the view that we were created in the image of God, i.e. we are created in Christ. Christ is what it means to be truly human; we find our reality in Him. However, as fallen creatures, we are subject to sin and the darkness that is in the world. It is this that leads to the all the heinous and hideous activities we see around us; it is not God that does, or causes, this.

So 'everything happens for a reason' needs to be qualified. I refuse to believe that in the plan of God I would be sexually traumatized at a very young age which would send me spiraling down the path of addiction for decades. 

Did He know this? That is a different question. I don't know that He knows as we know but I would say that if He knows all then all possibilities are already present in Him. There is no deliberation in Him, all things, all possibilities, already exist.  Does this destroy free will? I don't believe so. I believe we have the ability to choose freely but we are limited in the choices we make based on how we are constituted. 

And our choices continue to 'collapse the wave function' of other choices. The infinitude of possible choices becomes further and further restricted with each choice we make.

Until we meet Christ. He introduces us to the unlimited possibilities of humanity. Not our humanity, fundamentally flawed, but a humanity that transcends death. We can taste of this here and now in Him but it gives us a hope in the possibility of a future beyond this mortal coil.

I would put the statement something like this: things happen and then we find a reason. Or, more theologically, things happen and the Father, as a loving Father does, has our back and what was intended for evil works for good. 

As for the 'why' of things happening. I admit this is the biggest challenge of all as we may truthfully never know. If knowing the 'why' is required for our healing we may be slow to heal and even when we do know it doesn't always help.

It is only when we find ourselves resting in Him, allowing His life to work through us, that we begin to heal and in healing we move toward becoming whole. 

Immigration, Five Years Later. Inadmissible, Removal, Terminated.

My wife and I were fortunate enough to go on a dream vacation in February/March of 2015 to Bristol, England and Lille, France. We traveled around with a friends and family for a solid two weeks and visited Brugge, Bath and Cardiff. Trip of a lifetime. I'll start with the end to get to the beginning.

Upon re-entering the United States, my wife, who is a green card holder, was flagged at Customs. I knew something was wrong instantly when it took longer than I am used to having traveled international many time before. When two other uniformed customs agents walked up and asked her to come with them I knew something was very wrong.

She was whisked away to a room near the baggage reclaim area and I was given some government speak about why. Completely baffled. So I waited. And waited. And waited for what seemed like hours. I would occasionally get a quick peek in between the slats of the Venetian blinds but it was no help.

Once or twice someone would pop out and I'd ask what's going on but was each time given the same government speak.

Finally, after several hours she was released. She was not detained but was deemed inadmissible for what we would later learn were charges, both misdemeanors in the eyes of civil law, from 30 years ago. Two misdemeanors of 'crimes involving moral turpitude' (aka CIMT) render a green card holder inadmissible. 

Here's what we learned: a green card holder is technically reapplying for re-entry into the country having traveled abroad. As opposed to a US Passport holder who is free to come and go, a green card holder is not a citizen and is therefore placed under scrutiny. Two misdemeanors 30 years old renders a permanent resident who has been in the country for 36 years inadmissible. 

And while she was not detained permanently, the inadmissible charge flagged removal proceeding against her. 

We had been married 15 years at the time and, for reasons I'll try and explain later, we never went far in attempting naturalization for her. One of the many things we learned is that marriage does not automatically grant someone citizenship. We never gave it any thought but for many, maybe even most, of the people I've talked to about this they are always puzzled operating on the assumption that marriage grants citizenship.

Nope. It's just a different checkbox on the naturalization application. It may help but it's not automatic. 

So a permanent resident of 36 years, whose parents naturalized, with a marriage of 15 years and a successful entrepreneur in the local community is suddenly told she is not worthy enough to obtain re-entry.

Once you learn the travails of our 'how not to travel' adventure you'll understand the devastation this wrought and with it the education in how the immigration system works which of course sheds a different prism on the media and government narrative of attempts being made at fixing the immigration 'problem' which is but of our own making.

I'll provide deeper details once I get a certain later in the mail but the novel worthy adventure is not over.

Stay tuned...