But do I believe it?

That's the question isn't it?

I get it. And of all doctrines proclaimed, it is the most cohesive. But I am also not one to just accept something, toss out some proof-texts and be done with it. I want to internalize it. When I speak of it, I want it to come from the depths of my soul, not from the surface of my intellect. I want to live and breathe it not just be able to recite it.

In the end, I realize that there will always be questions. Pick a doctrine from any denomination that differs from traditional Christian doctrine (and even traditionally doctrinal churches show amazing diversity) and take it to its logical end. Any questions that are left usually end up, somewhere down the line, as another denomination, doctrine, cult or heresy. Just look at Christian history.
So I see its function. I've seen the visions and that is enough for me at this point. My focus is Jesus. It is in him that it all rests.

Would I call myself a Trinitarian? Probably not, simply because of what it stirs up. I'd probably try and avoid calling myself anything. I usually answer questions of this nature with more questions. Why? To avoid debate, to avoid a mini-Council, rehashing arguments that are entrenched in history books over thousands of years and billions of words written. One's doctrinal belief does not, in my estimation, prove anything. Paul preached Christ and him crucified. Death, burial, resurrection. The rest are details.

I can go there; I can debate. I can hold my own fairly well with the best of them. At the very least, I know the resources where I can turn for what I do not know. But I also recognize the limits of this approach. After all, mere "facts" can be inconvenient as the same facts can be used in different ways to prove different conclusions. The historical record verifies this. So mere "facts" aren't enough.

It is in the end result that the difference lies. Does it lead to love? Hate? Indifference? The end of result of our knowledge leads us where?

If you wish to see what I believe, look for it in what I do (what I say is also part of what I do...).