Afraid to let go...

I feel this bursting in my soul but I can't seem to fully let go, to fully surrender. I still wish to cling to an understanding of it, to intellectualize it, rationalize it, hold on to it, control it.

Perhaps it's supposed to be that way, a "roping in" of our faculties rather than abandoning them completely.

"We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ..." (2 Corinthians 10:5, NASB)

It's something I have to reconcile as rather than giving us comfort, intellectualizing everything actually separates us.

The view that we can "objectively" view the universe actually gives us a position of power that we are somehow above it, better than it.

Hasn't quantum physics taught us something similar? Understanding that quantum physics and religion are not the same (though in man's search for meaning they run parallel paths toward the same goal), it's interesting that in the theoretical world of quantum physics (which has real-world consequences) similar conclusions are drawn man's presence in the search for truth can actually affect what results are seen.