Losing My Religion

"There's somethin' happening here

What it is ain't exactly clear."

Well, damn. I am losing my religion. It's an intellectual curiosity at the moment, a place of comfort, but I'm not sure I actually believe it.

I may be influenced by the American culture around me but the whole political religious thing has me nauseated. So too the fluffy, moral therapeutic deism that passes for faith. Or the tendency toward Oneness and the overemphasis of the baptism in the Holy Spirit, as if that is the whole point.

I dunno, something is missing. And I'm bored with it.

In fact, I've gone back, if you will, to my Dao De Jing and various Zen books to shake me out of it.

Could be a symptom of what's been going on personally, I acknowledge this, but I have no interest right now in setting foot back in church.

And that prophecy is messing with my head. This body? This church? I don't want to be there so am I falling away from the faith?

Is that why all this is happening? Am I back to third grade theology that it's all about me and if bad things are happening it's punishment? Sure feels that way.