A few posts ago I talked of my struggles with "Christian" music and how I often feel obligated to somehow like it because it’s tagged Christian. Quite often it just seems derivative, a pale imitation of the music found in the world to which it is trying to show its relevance.
It's not the first time I’ve written about this. I've also talked about the "spirituality" of so-called secular music. Personally, if I like something I don’t care how it’s tagged. I hate labels and find them divisive (I’m reminded of the DDJ quote (loosely paraphrased): “There are already too many names so shut up already.”). Quite often I find that non-Christian (at least not so designated) music provides a greater catharsis as it taps into the raw emotions of being human.
Moby's new release provided that several weeks ago while I was on the road. Working seven days a week for the past six years has been quite a challenge. Granted, the weekend gig isn't exactly laborious but it is time away from home and it is quite isolating as with the exception of the security guards I am isolated.
I have lots and lots (probably too much) time to listen to music, read and watch movies, quite frequently to the point of distraction. But it is often put on in an effort to drown out the background noise of machinery.
My thoughts are often occupied with things of a "spiritual" nature and the restlessness of my soul.
Anyhow, I'm listening to Moby's new album, Destroyed. I've read many reviews and critics are not being too kind to it. Granted, the Play album is always lurking in the background both as his magnum opus and - the inevitably of fame - the point at which he sold out. I put Moby on the backburner only dabbling in his post-18 releases as my interest moved towards things of a "dub" nature.
But my interest in Moby's music goes back to circa 1994 when I was introduced to the rave scene and his Move EP. I was instantly drawn to his music.
The love affair lasted for over five years until Play hit the big time (y'know the "Oh, you're just discovering him. I've followed him since..." kind of thing). His music - Ambient, Everything Is Wrong (especially the DJ mix version) and Mixmag Live 2 - provided the soundtrack for me during some of the most challenging, yet rewarding, periods of growth in my life.
Moby's professed "Christian" beliefs contrasted with his "punk" attitude resonated. Yet the music had a vibe was not churchy in any way but it had a strong pensive, seeking, melancholy longing to it that seemed to me a pursuit of things Real. At once a criticism of things of the world it also provided a catalyst toward finding answers. The gospel tinged Play was perhaps inevitable. Its genius has been lost in the mist of its ubiquity.
However, once removed from the insular context of the album itself and launched into a world of car commercials and elevators the meaning was drained. It was many, many years before I would listen to Play again, though the B-sides was a pleasant surprise.
So when I read the previews of this album and its creation in isolation I knew what that meant. Immediately, I ordered the vinyl.
The album itself is gorgeous. At first, it appears to hearken back to Ambient in its simplicity. This will surely disappoint listeners looking for the Play type sounds. Personally, for what his music has been to me, this album is exactly right. I'm in another one of those reconfiguring periods of life. So it captures the spirit of that time in my life but provides a certain soundtrack for now that allows my soul to wander freely in search of the Real.
Several weeks ago, I had escaped from the 9 to 5 grind by going on a road trip to one of my company's suppliers which, in reality, was more an excuse to get out of the office for a few days. I was really struggling with the feeling overworked (or, more accurately, feeling like work was getting in the way of figuring out what’s gnawing at me), fretting over being trapped by the stuff of the world and a longing for a sense of freedom. Over 900 miles of driving in two days was exactly what the doctor ordered.
On the way home I was listening to this album for the first time. I stopped for gas at an exit in Michigan somewhere and I spotted a Goodwill. Now you have to understand that for many, many years I was a thrift store junkie. Any new town was a chance to scour the thrift stores (primarily looking for vinyl but other curiositie as well). I passed up more than a few this time around. Yet I was drawn to this one.
What did I find there? Moby's Play DVD. So what? Well, God has always dealt with me in signs, mostly having to do with music (of a secular nature, truth be told). I knew immediatley that this was a confirmation. All the doubts, frustrations and fatigue I had been feeling were replaced with a moment of ecstasy. I was excited about the DVD, certainly, but the odds of finding this DVD at this thrift store at this point in time hundreds of miles away from my home was too obvious to miss.
As I hopped back on the highway feeling pretty good, the album continued to play. By the time I got to "Lacrimae" at about 70 mph I was in bliss. It was one of those rare, memorable confirmations. I was exactly where I was supposed to be and my troubles evaporated. Everything past is laid to rest, no regrets. Moving forward was not really on my mind. It was quite "Zen" in the sense that I was in the moment enjoying the feeling of the speed of the car, the sounds in my ears and the sensation of being divinely guided.
If you don’t think there is a “spiritual” element to this album, try listening to “The Right Thing” through “Lacrimae” in one sitting, either undistracted or completely absorbed in doing something (like driving…). You’ll find some elements from his earlier works (Play, Everything Is Wrong) yet there is orchestral, almost symphonic, sound that is much more elevated than in previous releases. Moby as composer?
Moby's music has always had that kind of "vibe" that moves me. Can't tell you how many nights his music catapulted me into feeling of bliss (often chemically induced but not this time...). I think it's my relationship with his music over two decades that has me glowing about this one.
Once again, context defines an albums meaning. The experience lasted for a few hours.
Though I may fail as a music critic on this one (even the abrupt endings on the songs feels right) I can certainly tell you that the album will take you places if you allow it.
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