Vision or illusion?

These visions which are 'trinitarian' in nature have me thinking. The Trinity has been something I've wrestled with for years, more intensely at times than at others, but nevertheless consistently for all these years. The visions have come in smaller and smaller intervals which parallels the intensity with which I've been studying.

Reading the books by Clement and Lossky have truly intensified my grasp of the Trinity and in reflecting on the 'bad' theology of many modern worship songs, I am wondering if I have merely created fertile soil with preconceived images and philosohpical underpinnings in which to receive the Trinity openly.

In a sense, I wonder if I 'created' the experience. Yet it obviously aligns with the understanding and experience of others but is the collectiveness a sign of the truth of it? Or is it a form of suggestion, wishful thinking, so to speak?

Or am I having visions of the true 'nature' of God? Are all such visions received only when we have opened up our minds to receive such things, the soil that of the mental framework we have created?

In other words, if I had never heard of the Trinity, had never read a single work on the subject, would I have the ability to haev such a 'vision'?