Spiritual dry spell?

Am I content? Or complacent?

I've lost the drive for knowledge though I am still passionate about learning. I don't desire to be deep anymore nor do I long for a spiritual high. You might say I've become quite earthy. I'm not interested in saving souls though it doesn't mean I don't care for people.

I have simply found that so much of what passes for the Christian message is nothing short of a multi-level marketing plan, a pyramid scheme, slick marketing, the essentials compacted into a slogan, parsed to fit onto a t-shirt. The idea of 'saving souls' sound like a career occupation, one where you obtain degrees, awards, certificates and notches on a belt with a 401(k) retirement plan in tow (often in the form of a book deal).

When we start seeing minister hocking commercial wares on television, as celebrity endorsements, we'll know the end is near. After all, we've got preacher superstars who draw thousands upon thousands to their shows, er, events, er services. Book deals, fancy cars, fancy clothes, huuuuuge churches, thousands traveling the country like following the Dead, abandoning the smaller churches for the Big Top.

I used to fall prey to the same thing only my response was rebellion, criticism, judgment. Yet the fuel was still that which I criticized. I have simply tired of it. So I am pretty much living the quiet life, seeking to truly be in the world but not of it, to learn to eat with the sinners and the wine bibbers, to be a true friend, not a saint, to be found in the form of a servant and not grasp at equality with God.