Can you be a Christian and still be human?

I struggle with this one. The Christian message continues to burrough deeper into my soul. When balanced but not overridden by the intellect this is a healthy way to live.

What I struggle with is finding a way to live it out. Yet in every church I attend, no matter how much I sense God's presence there, I am still aware of how weird some of this is. Of course to define it as "weird" is to compare it to something so to what am I comparing it?

Probably my desire to still do what I want. Over the years what I want has changed so hopefully this "want" is more aligned to a life where I can live out the Spirit in and through me.

Slasher flicks are of no interest nor are films meant to shock us out of our numbness. Heavy metal music is of no interest anymore and while
classic rock takes me back in time, it has no present reality for me.

This isn't a judgment, I'm simply not there anymore. So my "want" (at least in terms of music and movies) has changed as I've continued the spiritual pursuit. Perhaps it's maturity, perhaps it's just a natural process.

But I am not compelled to like Christian music or Christian movies just because they are tagged Christian. I just don't like a lot of these things. Don't get me wrong, there are many I do. They hit me in a way other forms of entertainment do not.

"Secular" music (personally, music is music, all of it forms of expression of the human experience, corporate drivel notwithstanding) and movies still speak to me about the human experience, even if much of it is propaganda trying to sell me a point of view, though I do realize religion tends to do the same thing. Everything is propaganda, really, all trying to "sell" you something.

So at work I am content to do my work and talk to people about things that in the end don't really matter but to that person may mean a lot. I have many things that mean something to me even if they don't mean a lot in the long run. But it can be a place where I channel my passion and gifts, even if it isn't in some churchified way.

So to be human, to talk to people about things with no intention or judgment other than just trying to love and understand the human experience. Doesn't that make us, and others, more receptive to the move of the Spirit in between us, even if there are no labels that indicate we hold the same beliefs?

God loves us where we are, Christian or not. He doesn't love us any more because we are "Christian" or "born again" or whatever tag we use. No, God loves us just the same. The difference is our perception. These things don't make us any better than anyone else. They simply provide a different worldview.

To put a spin on the traditional saying of Paul, "new is creation." We see the world anew. The old man may be passing away but the old man is still the same old flesh we've always had. This is not what is new; what is new is our perception.

So we remain human with all our quirks and flaws. And we should accept this; after all, isn't this how we were made? Just be sensitive to the leading of the Spirit and be open to changing over time.

If you're a Christian and you still like rock and roll than do so. Like movies? Smoke? Drink liquor? Eat too much? Drink too much coffee? I think it comes down to awareness and discernment and realizing that we are influenced by what we feed our minds with and if we keep feeding our minds with non-beneficial things our 'self' will follow.

I bring this up only because I am listening to dub techno like crazy lately and really enjoy it. Can't say I get any "spiritual" meaning from it but it does provide a level of peace that is quite soothing.

And I am enjoying my work in a factory. I value the labor and the working with the hands. There is no saving grace in making parts that end up on Harley Davidson motorcycles but it is a fascinating process to watch a piece of metal become a chrome fender.

But there is nothing revelatory in all of this. There isn't much excitement at all, no buzz, no excitement, no awe inspiring sense of wonder. And I think it is in this day-to-day stuff, "life" as we think of it, that real meaning is found. It is the consistency, the routine, the "desert" on the way to those highs we all seek that the real spiritual walk is found.

It kind of reflects the way in which we are able to re-create in our own lives. I won't go there but as life goes on, more and more it seems that everything is symbol. At what point does this lead to loss of a grip on reality? I know it's a possibility and it's always right there. At what point have we gone over the edge and how do we really know?

A sad chicken sandwich...

Lately we've been moving more and more toward a "raw" food based diet. This isn't the weird, militant kind of raw food diet. This has just been the inevitable progression of fifteen years or more of paying attention to what we eat and educating ourselves as the nutritional climate evolves.

If you were to do some inverting to the FDA's pyramid (primarily the lower blocks) you'd have the raw food pyramid.

While I tend to shun all hints of conspiracies, it is quite curious when you ponder that the base of the FDA food pyramid coincides with the areas of food production that are most corporatized. After all, the "green" stuff can be grown in your own back yard (until the government and/or corporations figure out a way to make this illegal or tax it).  Look at the bottom of the FDA pyramid.  Can you say sponsorship?

Anyhow, last week I had put in a thirteen hour day and had run out of food (I usually pack enough for a ten hour day). Hungry, I decided to whirl through KFC. It's probably been five years or more since I've even set foot in a KFC. Figured they'd have a grilled chicken sandwich option.

Nope. They had a grilled chicken meal. So I asked about the sandwiches and I was told they have a regular chicken sandwich and the double down. "You mean, the kill you twice as fast sandwich?" I slipped out. The cashier, caught off guard, smiled after he pondered it for a moment.

I wanted some road food so settled for a regular chicken sandwich. Added a medium soda, again something I don't normally do at a fast food restaurant because of the markup. But I was hungry, a bit edgy and wanted to hit the road home.

The cashier informed me that as is the case in America it's more expensive to do it this way and a "meal" would be cheaper. So I threw in green beans, figuring there may be some nutrition buried in there.

Got the food to go and was on the road.

White bread, bacon, thousand island dressing and a smaller-than-advertised slab of fried chicken. I was amazed at how incredibly unappetizing it looked. The green beans were just shy of liquid and the soda provided no joy.

As I ate, I was saddened by the whole experience. Bored employees, the whole assembly line process and food that had no nutritional value made the entire experience just plain sad. Can't say it ever provided joy in the past but I have never eaten food that actually made me sad. Other than some protein and some calories, there was absolutely nothing positive there.

I am grateful for the way we are beginning to eat but it saddens me to think of how our government and our corporations are basically death merchants. Granted, they are feeding the population what they (think they) want but to what extent has the propaganda of our corporatocracy fed us this from birth? You are being lied to.

I wonder: does the upper management of KFC (or any fast food chain) actually eat the food they peddle?

Social Justice in the Workplace...

I've been on a roll at work lately, "stirring up trouble" as I put it. It's not meant to be trouble but sometimes when those without a voice find someone to speak for them it can ruffle some feathers. Isn't this what Jesus did?

My faith is deepening in ways I never imagined. I bring Jesus with me to the workplace, not to preach about Jesus or "minister" with the intent of leading people to the Lord in the traditional, formulaic, evangelical way.

I figure Jesus is so well known in our culture that the only way to really "preach" Jesus is to try and display him in my life. This isn't a phony thing, an imitation of what I think I should act like. I'm either doing it or I'm not. Mind you, I'm far from perfect in this regard which is fine because I'm not Jesus so I will mess up.

I've heard a few comments and they are usually about "church" such as it is well known I will fight not to work on Sunday because I go to church. People who know me a little more closely know that I talk about "philosophy" (i.e. Jesus) a lot. I just don't get all preachy.

My whole focus at work has lately tended to be about two things: being honest with the customer and, more importantly, focusing on building up the workers on the factory floor (i.e. the voiceless).

This past week it was in the 90s and it was hot enough for one of the workers to bring in their own industrial fan as there are not enough fans to dispel the heat, especially in light of some of the smoke from one of the areas. This area has caused more than a few people to be sick, let alone trying to work there in 90 degree heat.

So I sent out a mass email about the health issues related to this. It went up the food chain and ruffled some feathers. Now an inquiry was made several weeks prior to my email but it did not get very far.

Two things were immediately brought out of this email:

1) don't send out mass emails
2) employees are not allowed to bring in their own personal fans

It wasn't the health of the workers that was the immediate concern. It was the rules.

With a little more pushing (and acknowledgment of the email rule) and prompting, about two weeks later some fans showed up. What if I hadn't said anything? What if the worker hadn't brought in a personally owne fan (which cost about half a days' wage)? Would these fans have ever appeared?

Maybe. Maybe not.

But "social justice" and displaying Jesus need not be all churchy. Think of others and give voice to the voiceless. Go for the heart. Sometimes that is all the Jesus people need to see.

That was not my intent, mind you. My intent was that it was hot, smoky and there were not enough fans. My intent was "the other" and not me (and, to a lesser degree, trying to wake up the powers that be from the air conditioned slumber which makes it easy to forget what is happening down below).

But because of my neverending quest to get to know Jesus, I am finding my own voice and no longer have the fear I once had. I believe this strength is coming from a deepening relationship with him, the kind of relationship that is no longer stuck in the head but has moved to the heart.

So this idea of what it means to be a Christian is evolving for me. It isn't weird. It isn't otherworldly. It isn't meant to be confined to the church, creating enclaves of homeschooled, church cultured and sheltered Christians who are afraid of the outside world.

Jesus was in the mix, hanging out with those who were not seen as valuable by the one institution which was supposed to see their value as they are, not by some condition such as what or how they believe. He was trying to meet their need. In so doing, room was made in the heart for the love of God and for them to recognize their value.

I have no interest in changing the world or even trying to change any social structure. "The system" may be corrupt but it's only when individuals change that "systems" can begin to change. And the only way individuals change is when they have someone who shows them an alternative way to live in the world, in it but not of it, to use the well known quote from the New Testament.

Get out in the mix, be human. It's ok. Allow the Spirit to guide you, wherever you are, not some set of parameters you think is the way you are supposed to behave. It's not about earning spiritual gold stars. It's about being a light to the world. Live by the Spirit, not by the rules.

The power of the Word...

Story time, so bear with...

If I haven't mentioned it before I work in a Quality position at a manufacturing plant. We stamp, weld and laser trim parts as well as manufacture the dies that can make the parts. Sometimes we make the die and run the parts; sometimes one or the other.

I've been there a little over six years having started out as a temp after a job didn't work out. Working for temp wages running the presses and now in the Quality department, there's very little I haven't done. It's also the longest, by double the amount, I've ever worked anywhere.

Over time, as my faith walk has deepened and I've gained some confidence in it, I find myself taking on the role of being the voice from the people on the floor. The social work (and Jesus' centered faith walk) has helped me to realize that everything in life come down to power - those who have it, those who don't. More significantly, it's about realizing Who has the power and how that power can be used in the world in which we live.

So I've been involved in the welding department now for several months, working with a weld tech who has all the appearances of a punk rocker (or gamer). Tatoos, piercings, peculiar mannerisms. Yet he's smart. Having come in as a temp several years ago as well he has learned well the mechanics of making the welders hum.

It's been fun to watch him grow and develop and gain a modicum of confidence more than he had when he came in the door. Lately, however, a new person in upper management has taken a strong dislike to him. For those of us who know and work with him, quirks and all we find him to be on the road to improvement. He works hard, puts in the hours, cares and, with some guidance, does what is needed.

But for some people, appearance is everything and nothing will shake that perception - especially when that perception comes from that barricade that separates "upstairs" from "the floor". I find myself bridging that gap. Without the floor, the upstairs make an organization top heavy and it teeters and sways until it blows over. Some days, it seems we're going to blow over.

Most of our successes and improvements on the floor comes from the operators who know the products and the processes. They often speak up but it falls on deaf ears. Over the past few years I've come to realize that sometimes the best operators are the ones who have little voice - they can't speak the language, they look funny, they live in fear of being fired, they are just plain strange. However, on more than a few occasions I have found myself praising the efforts of a few individuals who, because of these quirks, may have otherwise found themselves out of a job.

When you compliment someone and tell them they do a good job and that they have value, not only do they do better work but their countenance actually changes. I've seen it over and over again.

Well, this past week, rumor had it that this weld tech was going to be fired and that I was the backup plan to run the department. Now I understand the processes and how it works but the mechanics of it? We'd be sunk. Even piecing together the knowledge of a half dozen people could not replace what this guy does.

So I talked to my boss. I would be pulled out from under him without his having had any knowledge of the move. He was pissed; I was pissed. More than a few people expressed serious concern about losing him.

For about half an hour my boss and I talked. And the air was somber. I was willing to be fired before making that move. A six month project, sure. Full time, not in the plans.

So I went back to my computer and stared at it for about forty minutes. I couldn't move. Thoughts of finding another job were at the forefront. But as the minutes dragged on I had the realization that I could not allow this to happen without saying something. I couldn't live with myself.

Now it wasn't really about me. I was upset about the unjust treatment of this guy toward him. I was upset that such a move was being made with no plan B and no communication to anyone else. It was as if his distaste for him, that emotional turmoil, was enough to drive such an irrational decision. I had visions of the company sliding further behind.

So I marched up to his office. No anger, no malice, just serious concern. I asked him if the rumor was true; he verified that it was. I told him flat out I thought it was a bad move. I spoke more from the point of view of "the company" but also stood up for the weld tech and, acknowleding his quirks, praised his skills and that no one in the shop knows what he knows. He has that depth of experience that is irreplaceable.

I let him know that it was his decision. He said that he would consider it because he respected me. That was a high compliment, one I do not take lightly.

So the next morning, the weld tech proceeded to inform me that he was still employed and that he had bought some time because I (and another, I later found out) spoke up for him. The power of the Word.

Not only was he glowing, others on the floor were also glowing when they found out. The fact that someone stuck up for him - goofy as he is, he is well liked - spoke volumes. It saved him his job; it was also a good move in terms of keep the company out of trouble.

It's up to him now. I hold no illusions that the opinions of him are still the same. The move is purely a business move. But by speaking up, life changed for many people involved.

My boss and another manager in the department were genuinely blown away but the turn of events. They were both going to let it just happen as it usually does without saying a word. Though I contemplated it for a while, in the end there was no need to seek advice, ask permission or worry about going over someone's head. I felt led to do it.

Now I'm usually pretty easy going and don't try and rock the boat but there are two things that get me going: lying to customers and when "my people" are treated unjustly. It is then that I become vocal.

Let you think I think it was completely selfless, please realize that the self-preservation aspect was present: I did not want the job that would have befallen me. It would have been a deadend move (and the hours would move to seven days a week, on call 24-7). Been there, done that; don't want to do it again.

What's the point? This whole idea of "marketplace ministry" (a phrase I can't stand; it sounds so very MLM) is too slick, too choreographed, too intentional. Our intention should not be to try and "save the world" but to love those who are in it, whether they be our friends or our "enemies" (even though, in essence, our enemies are still our neighbors). The ministry should not be "win souls for Christ" in the sense of "leading them to the Lord" like a trophy or racking up salvation points. The saving is up to God.

Our ministry is to be a vessel, to be a light, to allow the Word to shine through us, to Love. I'm reminded of the word of Jeremiah:

"He pled the cause of the afflicted and needy; Then it was well. Is not that what it means to know Me?" Declares the LORD." (22:16)

The atmosphere was changed that day. It wasn't really "me" but the power of my actions. I didn't preach at him, quote scripture or tell him about Jesus. I simply "pled the cause of the afflicted and the needy."

Love is the hardest thing in the world because it is a choice and it requires stepping out of self for the cause of another.

This thing is real.

European scholars and "mystical" Islam...

I've really been reading deeply into Henry Corbin's works now for a number of years.  I find his views of mystical Islam as found in Shi'ite/Isma'ili "gnosis" very curious and very spiritually enlightening.

I've read the works of many other scholars who fall under the Traditionalist/Perennilaist banner, the majority of whom are of European descent.  Some became Muslims, usually in an attenuated version, others did not but found their work to enrich their own spiritual life (usually, in some fashion or other, Christian).

I recently stumbled across a recent book called Pathways to an Inner Islam by Patrick Laude which focuses on Massignon, Corbin, Guenon and Schuon, names which should all be familiar to anyone dealing with a more "mystical" Islam.

While the book is dense and difficult in places, especially if unfamiliar with the works of the authors, it draws out some essentials necessary to putting the authors' understanding of Islam in proper perspective.  Of all the authors focused on it is Corbin with whom I am most familiar.  I've read some Schuon and Guenon but very little Massignon, though he's on the list.

There was a little nugget, however, that gave me that 'aha!' moment about Corbin's works.  Lately I've been feeling that, in many ways, the Christianity in much of the modern church often falls in line with the alternate Christianity he points out ultimately manifested in the particular form of Shi'ite mysticism found in Isma'ilism. 

In the modern church (i.e. in charismatic/Pentecostal circles) the "Trinity" is paid lip service but the deeper theological underpinnings are often missing and "Jesus is God" is all that is taken from it.  You may find various books on spelling out the Trinity but usually it comes down to quotes from the Bible and maybe even the Church Fathers (often out of context) as if proof texts mean something in and of themselves.  Such is the nature of the worship of the book post scientific revolution.

But this has led to a distorted or disregarded view of what Jesus means in light of the Trinity.  The Incarnation is watered down and the "God Man" starts to sound like some kind of superhero.  In this, I understand Corbin's desire though, I admit, most of my nourishment on the Trinity came through reading Orthodox theology. 

According to Laude, Corbin considered himself a "Protestant" or "Evangelical" Christian.  I'm not quite sure what this means exactly but if you read Corbin's works you realize that he is not your traditional Christian.  He gravitates to a more "personalized" Christianity which he, in this case, found in his studies of Islam.  His view tends to be that the trajectory from the Christian gnosis that was shunned by the institutional church did not disappear but ultimately manifested in Shi'ite/Isma'ili mysticism. 

The "True Prophet" is not the human prophet, as such, but is that particular essence that seeks his "place of repose".  It is this essence that is understood in the saying attributed to Muhammad: "I was a Prophet while Adam was between water and clay."  In many ways, this bears a striking parallel to Jesus' statement that "Before Abraham was, I am." While traditionally understood to refer to his pre-existence, it can also be understand that the "I" is paralle to the idea of the "True Prophet" which found his place of repose in the person of Jesus.

Laude contrasts view of Massignon that Islam is lacking and incomplete to that of Corbin who shares a different view:

"While the incompleteness of the Prophet is reflected, according to Massignon, in the incompleteness of Islam, this incompleteness - or rather the incompleteness of prophethood as such, does not result, for Corbin, in any sense of lack in the spiritual economy of Islam taken as a whole.  For Henry Corbin, the incompleteness of prophethood is confined to the domain of Sunni Islam, but brought to a resolution in the context of Shi'ism." (p. 76)

While Massignon certainly respects Islam and owes a great deal of his spiritual certitude to the study of it, ultimately he finds it lacking in light of the Christian doctrine of the Trinity and Christianity's essence of love.  For Corbin, however, there is no such judgment of Islam as a whole.

Much like Corbin takes issue with the institutional Christian church, so too does he take issue with the Sunni "institutional" encapsulation of Islam.  Corbin sought spiritual freedom and could not find it within traditional Christianity and, through his study of an Islam outside of the "institution" he sought to free up the spirituality found in Islam and, by so doing, freeing himself from the fetters of a "confined" Christianity.

Another quote from the book explains this in some detail:

"What had to be 'imported' by Massignon into Islam through the mediation, or rather the substitution, of a Christic, if not Christian, apotropaism, beside the Prophetic mission...was to be found by Corbin in a Shi'ite imamology that completes the prophetology...without...implying...a...deficiency of the Islamic tradition itself...nor narrowing the scope of the Prophet himself..." (p. 86)

The apotropaism (I had to look it up...) is a sort of ritual or magical charm to ward of evil.  Interesting choice of words.

The point of this, and the reason for my continued interested, is that Christians (and, perhaps, Muslims) today are seeking similar things.  Tired of the confines of dogma and the drudgery of theological minutiae, people want something personal, unmediated, unfiltered and untainted.  God, no chaser.

While there is certainly no substitute for reading the actual works of the authors, Laude has shown himself to be an excellent guide to their backgrounds.  I look forwad to digging further into the book.  May be one for the shelves.

For the spiritually adventurous...

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Henry Corbin, Ibn 'Arabi and modern Christianity...

"I was a Treasure unknown then I desired to be known so I created a creation which to which I made Myself known, then they knew Me."

This a saying attributed to Prophet Muhammad.  For notes on the soundness of the tradition go here.

I'm reading Corbin's Creative Imagination In The Sufism of Ibn 'Arabi (also retitled Alone with the Alone) and am astounded by some of the parallels to modern Christianity (at least in the circles in which I have run lately).  Corbin's presentation is a contrast not only with orthodox Islam but with "incarnationist" Christianity.  There may be an agenda behind his writings but I can't help but feel in many ways that the view of many of today's Christians veer more toward how he presents the Isma'ili Shi'ite Islam, the idea that there is an "intermediary" world in which the believer finds the "Imam of his own being" that carries him ever upward to his true self, his paredros/fravarti/Daena/Angel. 

"But in Ibn 'Arabi's own terminology Al-Lah is the Name which designates the divine Essence qualified and invested with the sum of His attributes, whereas al-Rabb, the Lord, is the personified and particularized Divine in one of its attributes (hence the divine Names designated as so many "lords," arbab)." (p. 122)

In many ways, this is how Jesus is viewed by the Christian.  He is called "God" but that isn't really a meaningful phrase as "God" remains undefined.  What is defined is "Jesus" so as Jesus is so we tend to view God.  However, based on where we are is how we view Jesus.  So our view of Jesus depends on our mode of perception.

In many ways, this mode of perception, the "Holy Spirit" of Christianity running a somewhat striking parallel to Corbin's presentation of the "Holy Spirit" (i.e. the Angel) as that faculty in man that enables him to perceive the divine figure (mazhar), his "celestial self" in that imaginal world that carries him ever upward.

It could be just me but these two run a very parallel course.  What is most interesting to me is that this is certainly not orthodox Islam but is the Sufi/Shi'ite/Isma'ili strain of Islam.  I can't help but think that there is a need in man for relationship with the divine and that this particualr strain of Islam is the manifestation of this longing.

Of course, the reductionist in me tends to think of "influences" as Islam developed, especially those strains that operated on the fringes that may have certainly had contact with other faiths, in this case more "Christologically" correct Christianity.  Perhaps its development was a response to the claims of the Christian as filtered through an Islamic paradigm.  More accommodating than polemical, the end result is the "theosophy" of which Corbin speaks.

It does, however, pose a possible alternative.  One can remain a Christian and yet gravitate and glean from an Islam such as this as the demarcation between the two tends to blur as we are in the realm of the spirit and not the realm of doctrine.

For the Shi'ite (as far as I can ascertain), the Imam tends to me what Jesus is for Christians.  There are, of course, differences (primary among them being primarily the resurrection of Jesus and the meanings that arise from this claim).  It isn't his divinity as the term "divinity" can be spun in such a way that any meaning it has blurs and not only Jesus but the Imam can be considered "divine" in some fashion. 

May not please the orthodox theologian but there is a realm in which this mode of exegesis finds life and does not strip away the fact that the believer is in fact still a believer in the original revelation.

I lost the point I was getting at...doesn't matter, really.  Even in neo-Protestant circles, with all the doctrinal squabbling, the average Christian believer may be compared phenomenologically to a Shi'ite that Corbin within Islamic tradition that to the traditional Christianity of, say, an Athanasius or Augustine. 

The Trinity tends, if it is considered at all, to be just a belief that comes with the faith.  The subtleties of the Trinity are lost in those who try to reason that "Jesus is God" is the basic tenet of the faith.  Just listen to the lyrics of many modern Christian worship songs and you'll hear that the nuances and subtleties of doctrine are nowhere to be found.

So in reading Corbin and others like him I find more freedom in my Christian walk.  Doesn't mean I've gone Muslim, mind you, but it does mean that I do not find myself bound to the text of the Bible.  My freedom is found in the "Holy Spirit" as the Bible is not the Word...Jesus is.  The Bible may ground us but it is not to the text that we devote our faith.

Any difference between Christianity and any other faith or, for that matter, between Christians, comes down to the answer to the question Jesus asks: "Who do you say that I am?"

Moby's "Destroyed" a religious experience...

A few posts ago I talked of my struggles with "Christian" music and how I often feel obligated to somehow like it because it’s tagged Christian. Quite often it just seems derivative, a pale imitation of the music found in the world to which it is trying to show its relevance. 

It's not the first time I’ve written about this. I've also talked about the "spirituality" of so-called secular music. Personally, if I like something I don’t care how it’s tagged. I hate labels and find them divisive (I’m reminded of the DDJ quote (loosely paraphrased): “There are already too many names so shut up already.”). Quite often I find that non-Christian (at least not so designated) music provides a greater catharsis as it taps into the raw emotions of being human.

Moby's new release provided that several weeks ago while I was on the road. Working seven days a week for the past six years has been quite a challenge. Granted, the weekend gig isn't exactly laborious but it is time away from home and it is quite isolating as with the exception of the security guards I am isolated.

I have lots and lots (probably too much) time to listen to music, read and watch movies, quite frequently to the point of distraction. But it is often put on in an effort to drown out the background noise of machinery.

My thoughts are often occupied with things of a "spiritual" nature and the restlessness of my soul.

Anyhow, I'm listening to Moby's new album, Destroyed. I've read many reviews and critics are not being too kind to it. Granted, the Play album is always lurking in the background both as his magnum opus and - the inevitably of fame - the point at which he sold out. I put Moby on the backburner only dabbling in his post-18 releases as my interest moved towards things of a "dub" nature.

But my interest in Moby's music goes back to circa 1994 when I was introduced to the rave scene and his Move EP. I was instantly drawn to his music.

The love affair lasted for over five years until Play hit the big time (y'know the "Oh, you're just discovering him. I've followed him since..." kind of thing). His music - Ambient, Everything Is Wrong (especially the DJ mix version) and Mixmag Live 2 - provided the soundtrack for me during some of the most challenging, yet rewarding, periods of growth in my life.

Moby's professed "Christian" beliefs contrasted with his "punk" attitude resonated. Yet the music had a vibe was not churchy in any way but it had a strong pensive, seeking, melancholy longing to it that seemed to me a pursuit of things Real. At once a criticism of things of the world it also provided a catalyst toward finding answers. The gospel tinged Play was perhaps inevitable.  Its genius has been lost in the mist of its ubiquity. 

However, once removed from the insular context of the album itself and launched into a world of car commercials and elevators the meaning was drained. It was many, many years before I would listen to Play again, though the B-sides was a pleasant surprise.

So when I read the previews of this album and its creation in isolation I knew what that meant. Immediately, I ordered the vinyl.

The album itself is gorgeous. At first, it appears to hearken back to Ambient in its simplicity. This will surely disappoint listeners looking for the Play type sounds. Personally, for what his music has been to me, this album is exactly right. I'm in another one of those reconfiguring periods of life. So it captures the spirit of that time in my life but provides a certain soundtrack for now that allows my soul to wander freely in search of the Real.

Several weeks ago, I had escaped from the 9 to 5 grind by going on a road trip to one of my company's suppliers which, in reality, was more an excuse to get out of the office for a few days. I was really struggling with the feeling overworked (or, more accurately, feeling like work was getting in the way of figuring out what’s gnawing at me), fretting over being trapped by the stuff of the world and a longing for a sense of freedom. Over 900 miles of driving in two days was exactly what the doctor ordered.

On the way home I was listening to this album for the first time. I stopped for gas at an exit in Michigan somewhere and I spotted a Goodwill. Now you have to understand that for many, many years I was a thrift store junkie. Any new town was a chance to scour the thrift stores (primarily looking for vinyl but other curiositie as well). I passed up more than a few this time around. Yet I was drawn to this one.

What did I find there? Moby's Play DVD. So what? Well, God has always dealt with me in signs, mostly having to do with music (of a secular nature, truth be told). I knew immediatley that this was a confirmation. All the doubts, frustrations and fatigue I had been feeling were replaced with a moment of ecstasy. I was excited about the DVD, certainly, but the odds of finding this DVD at this thrift store at this point in time hundreds of miles away from my home was too obvious to miss.

As I hopped back on the highway feeling pretty good, the album continued to play. By the time I got to "Lacrimae" at about 70 mph I was in bliss. It was one of those rare, memorable confirmations. I was exactly where I was supposed to be and my troubles evaporated. Everything past is laid to rest, no regrets. Moving forward was not really on my mind. It was quite "Zen" in the sense that I was in the moment enjoying the feeling of the speed of the car, the sounds in my ears and the sensation of being divinely guided.

If you don’t think there is a “spiritual” element to this album, try listening to “The Right Thing” through “Lacrimae” in one sitting, either undistracted or completely absorbed in doing something (like driving…). You’ll find some elements from his earlier works (Play, Everything Is Wrong) yet there is orchestral, almost symphonic, sound that is much more elevated than in previous releases.  Moby as composer?

Moby's music has always had that kind of "vibe" that moves me. Can't tell you how many nights his music catapulted me into feeling of bliss (often chemically induced but not this time...). I think it's my relationship with his music over two decades that has me glowing about this one.

Once again, context defines an albums meaning. The experience lasted for a few hours.

Though I may fail as a music critic on this one (even the abrupt endings on the songs feels right) I can certainly tell you that the album will take you places if you allow it.

So Jim Tressel has fallen...

Another professed Christian sports hero berated by a mocking public.  Is he guilty?  Probably.  He is, after all, still a human being.  He just happens to be in a very public, and powerful, position.  It's taken down better men than he.  We don't know what we would do in his position.

I smile if only because it reinforces the way in which we have made an idol out of sports and deified sports heroes with their athletic prowess and ability to generate large sums of money for doing something kids in the neighborhood play out of sheer joy.  On both fronts, it merely reinforces the largesse of the human ego and its ability to be trapped - often unknowingly - by its own ignorance in the light of its glory.

Rather than condemn Tressel and the Ohio State football program, we should simply let it be a lesson in the elevated status and power which we, the people, give it.  After all, if no one watched the games, it wouldn't exist.  If we didn't feed its seemingly bottomless pockets out of our own wallets, it would not have achieved the power it currently has and the sway it holds over people.

Just pull the plug...

6 a.m. on the midnight shift...

Sittin' in a megachurch...

I find myself in a really strange position.  The church I have attended for the past six years or so is becoming (or might even be considered) a megachurch.  It has all the signs of the very same church which on many levels frightens me. 

The building is large and modern with a cafe, bookstore, children's nursery, youth building and prayer center.

The building looks like an entertainment venue with curtains in the backdrop, three arrays of ten concert speakers hanging from the industrial looking ceiling, large screen monitors and multiple platforms for many different kinds of instruments from guitars to violins to piano to the obligatory drum in the glass booth.

The congregation is large

The pastors are beginning, in many ways, to be of a certain "type" even though at the moment there is still quite of bit of diversity in this regard (though on many levels this is also representative of the modern church). 

It has multiple campuses.

It has a ginormous budget.

Revival, signs, wonders, miracles and the names of some of the visiting preachers (cultish, celebrity-like status in some circles) are starting to cause me some consternation.

Now, don't get me wrong.  None of these things are, in and of themselvse, bad.  The church is growing for a reason.  There is a strong message preached here, straight no chasers.  It is about love.  Period.  Not the wishy-washy, self-help, feel good kind of love that makes you warm and fuzzy but the kind of love that gets you out of self. 

Not by preaching guilt, condemnation or hellfire and brimstone.  It's the kind of love whereby God is able to convict a person, if needed, or bathe the believer in love.  It is also a place of the recovering churchaholic, the person that has been abused at church or addicted to the emotionalism of the more 'charismatic' type churches. 

I have experienced this love and have healed more in the past few years than all the other years of my existence prior.  It is bathed in the Word and the head pastor is a man's man, not in a macho way but in the humbled way in which a man who is surrendered to God is strong.  Though women have a strong presence in the church, it is not effeminate.  There is a balance.

But lately I am struggling to enjoy the worship songs. 

"Who has told every lightning bolt where it should go..."

I had to check Scripture for this one.  It's certainly in there...

"Flash forth lightning and scatter them..." (Psalm 144:6)

"And he sent out arrows, and scattered them; lightning, and discomfited them." (2 Samuel 22:15)

It sounds like something Zeus would do.  Am I jaded, is my heart hardened, have I lost my childlike sense of wonder?

There is something a little too warm and fuzzy about a lot of these songs as are a lot of the books that are flooding the market.  They are very pop, in a least common denominator kind of way.  I have an aversion to watered down, syrupy Christianity and much of the church "scene" leans toward that end. 

Not that everyone can be expected to be interested in the high theology, the bedrock on which the Christian faith, but the danger of taking away or minimzing the theology is that it leads to a personal Jesus.  It is this we see in many churches today; many churches rise and fall on the pastor and his charisma.

Maybe it's my experience with rave culture and the understanding of the way in which music is used to create a certain mood, a certain emotional and mental state which many equate to spirituality.  So I'm being cautious or selfish, not sure which.

However, as Bono eloquently put it, you know I believe it.  Having seen it from the inside, I understand it and am still on board.  Lives are being impacted and there are no Benny Hinn like shenanigans here.  It's still pretty hardcore.

But I still haven't found what I'm looking for...

I suppose it is that divine hunger that keeps us going.  Doubt and a healthy dose of skepticism does serve a function, even in church.

Shi'ite, Isma'ili and Christian gnosis...

I must say that the spritual path that has been a constant curiosity to me over the past few years falls under the title of this post.  Most of this comes from the writings of Henry Corbin and Peter Lamborn Wilson and the trails followed in their bibliographies.

A recent article I was linked to which uses frequent references to a recent book by Todd Lawson on The Crucifixion and the Qur'an spells out my understanding of what the Qur'an says on the crucifixion and the way in which the "common" understanding entered Islamic tradition came to be (which, in my opinion, is a misunderstanding of what the text says).  If you dig deeply into the tafsir you find a variety of opinions from the scholars of Islam as to what really happened.  There is no one answer. 

This has always been the sticking point for me when it come to Islam.  The Qur'an, to me, is a book of amazing power and beauty (a few verses notwithstanding...).  However, the hadith and tafsir pose great challenges which, to me, require just as much faith as Christians are accused of needing to believe in the vast and varied tradition of Bible transmission.

Anyhow, the point is that the Qur'an does not not deny the crucifixion itself; it denies the power to those who thought they had the power to crucify him.  The idea of a "substitute" is, to put it bluntly, a silly idea.  It would mean that either Jesus lived to a ripe old age and died or resides physically in space somewhere.

So the "angelology" and the "gnosis" of these paths as spelled out by Corbin, Wilson and similar ilk I could easily absorb.  Even the idea of the "hidden" and/or "eternal" Imam (and his hujjat) would not be too difficult for me to accept. 

However, there is one question that lingers: what of the resurrection?  The Crucifixion is not the crux of the Christian faith unless the Resurrection is right there with it.  Both are necessary.  No resurrection, dead Jesus.  End of story.

The Isma'ili view gives an understanding of what this would mean from an Islamic perspective.  However, the deeper question is this: had he been crucified with no resurrection claimed, there would most likely have been no Christian faith.  Faith in what? 

Even gnostics, though obviously with a different interpretation, understand there to have been a "resurrection" of some kind and to a very large extent it would appear that Isma'ilism picked up this thread as filtered through Neoplatonic thought. 

If Christianity had existed without a resurrection what would it have been?  What message would have been so substantial for it to have spread as it did?  Would there have been an Islam?  A Shi'ite or Isma'ili Islam?

So again, the question I have yet to find from a Shi'ite, Isma'ili or Shi'ite Isma'ili viewpoint is their take on the Christian view of the resurrection.  Would the idea of it being a "spiritual" or "esoteric" event have been enough of a message for it to have spread as it did for hundreds of years prior to the advent of Islam?

The idolatry of being relevant...

Found a great website that pokes fun at Christian culture, an oxymoron if ever there was one.  There are some others out there but this one is pretty spot on.

Whether satirial or irreverent I cannot tell but it taps into the irrelevance of church that I've been feeling lately.  Jesus has become just another product to sell and is packaged in pretty much the same style that marketers might try to sell us a car or a pre-packaged formula guaranteed to sell us the latest salvific berry from some exotic locale.

Personal faves:

Relevant churches (the inspiration for the title of the post)

Cheesy hair (a combination of 80s hairspray/highlights and desiring to look bad-ass without being able to to do so which, of course, makes them look like a 90s boy band hangover...). 

Soul Patches (don't forget to read the end note of the post)

Inocuous Music (for which, see South Park episode 709)

Personally, I am sometimes much more comfortable "in the world" than I am in the often sanitized and insular world of the "church" today.

Seem to recall that Jesus spent more time with undesirables than he did with those who thought themselves desirable.

Besides, is saying "ass" or "damn" any worse than saying "freakin'"?

Osama bin Laden as Christian litmus test...

If any Christians are gloating or celebrating today over the death of Osama bin Laden, they should pause.

We are Christians first, citizens of a given country (in this case, America) second.  Jesus never advocated taking the life of another; he advocated loving our enemies.  I don't see that he qualified this statement.

What if Paul had been killed because he killed Christians?

I understand Osama’s role in the taking of the lives of others over the years.  This is not the debate.

The issue is whether one’s faith in Christ or one’s nationality (or humanity, for that matter) rules their lives.   

Jesus set a much higher standard and an event such as this becomes a litmus test.  How deep does your Christian faith go?

If the death of another human being is being celebrated, as a Christian, I challenge you to think it through. 

You can’t have both.

Henry Corbin, Ismaili Gnosis and Modern Christianity

I am reading Henry Corbin's Cyclical Time and Ismaili Gnosis again (just saw it on Amazon for $25 for a used copy...least expensive I've ever seen it...).

As I'm reading it, I'm listening to my wife's recent fascination with "heaven" after having read Heaven Is For Real and now moving on to Nine Days in Heaven, a "modern" rewrite of a nineteenth century book (at which I quipped "what's next, 30 days in heaven, then 3 months in heaven, each one upping the game?").

She questioned how we know they aren't true. A valid point. Of course, how do we know they are?

At which point I remembered the statement from the Acts of Peter quoted by Corbin in his book:

Talem eum vidi qualem capere potui ("I saw him in such a form as I was able to take in").

And the lightbulb came on...

As for the child who was behind the Heaven Is For Real book, I realized, he, having been raised in a pastor's home, had no doubt heard stories and has experienced images of things he saw. He had a framework through which to filter what he experienced. His openness (his 'capacity' to use Corbin's term) allowed him to have the vision he had.

He lost me here:

“So what did the kids look like? What do people look like in heaven?”

“Everybody’s got wings,” [he] said."

At that point the story lost traction. While the father scours the Scriptures for other of his boy's descriptions, this one gets no such scrutiny. While I certainly can't deny his experience, the idea that humans have wings when they die is not supported by Scripture. This falls in the category of myth/folklore/tradition (or a child's imagination).

However, the idea of 'capacity' explains the different accounts in all the other books (and there are countless...) out there. Each one's capacity is framed within a certain context and it is through that context that these visison are filtered. After all, if they are, as Paul mentioned, beyond words, then we can only express them in the words and images that we know.

Modern Christianity has become, in many ways, Gnostic in this sense. This is not the "Gnostic" as opposed to "real" Christianity (whatever that is) but is a form of gnosticism, personal knowledge, that is present within churches, even, or perhaps especially, of the so-called fundamentalist/evangelical variety.

This drive for the "real" Jesus means many churches rise and fall with the vision of the pastor. It is often "pastor" not "church" centered. Of course these churches emphasize the "Holy Spirit" as their guide but it is peculiar that there are so many churches all claiming to be led by the same spirit and many of them have different litmus tests (Jesus prayer, speaking in tongues, your dress code, zip code, etc.).

We might argue that as long as they preach Jesus and him crucified we're all on the same team.

However, the "modern" church today seems to be quite gnostic in essence. Each Christian experiences "Jesus" according to his/her capacity for the theophanic vision of which Corbin speaks.

Personally, I'm ok with that. This actually helps me make sense of the New Testament (and, with it, the Hebrew Bible) and allows me the freedom to glean from Orthodox, Catholic and Protestant theology, along with books such as Corbin's.

If these things increase my capacity to experience "Jesus" then talem eum vidi qualem capere potui.

Holy Ghost Tees, baby...

Ever wonder why it is that in tongues churches, quite often the "tongues" start to sound the same?

Want proof?

Holy Ghost Tees [link removed, heads to where it should have] will put your particular phrase right on a t-shirt for all the world to see!

I'm hoping this is...ahem...tongue in cheek.

Even it is, the fact that it has reached the level of parody is a statement in and of itself...

Christian Pole Dancing?

The story can be found here.

Of course it makes the news because it's absurd but the fact that it exists at all is telling.

Is it me or are we just legitimizing our self-centered desires? Any kind of music you like? Got that covered. Sports? Covered. Karate? Covered. Yoga? Covered. Porn? Got that covered too.

Just put a "Christian" stamp on it and - Presto! - the guilt is gone.

Since when did Christianity become a brand?

Invisible Christians

The title of the post does not mean relegate your beliefs into the private sphere.

I'm talking about what is now commonly called "marketplace ministry" (which, sadly, sounds too much like "smorgasbord religion"). Maybe I'm just hungry...

Anyhow, whenever the phrase "ministry" enters any discussion I cringe. Ministry sounds like a badge. This is probably due to my years in the Pentecostal circles but to say a person has a "ministry" immediately elevates their status.

It is not necessarily an extension of who they are (i.e. what others call them) but can easily become a title slapped on (a Christian resume builder) to provide a sense of importance. It often seems to imply that they are somehow above those who don't have what they are hocking.

The frame of reference for me in this regard is my years as a social worker. Though my intentions were pure (to help), there was a level of otherness, an arrogance even, when I first started. I thought I had the answers others didn't and in turn placed myself, unknowingly and unintentionally, above them. There was a condescension in this.

Too often, ministers fall prey to the same thing. The reality is that whether a social worker or a minister, when it comes down to it we are all but humans, lost, drifting, seeking, stumbling, moving on. The only difference may be one's title, one's position or one's calling. But that "position" is not the whoness of the person.

To confuse the two is to risk falling victim to the power such a position wields. This is how ministers fall. They confuse the power of the position with their person.

The philosophy at the church I attend is that if you didn't know the pastors were pastors you wouldn't know they were pastors. But you would know there is something different about them. In fact when in public they refer to themselves as something other than a pastor as the term "pastor" almost always puts up walls, whether out of shame or guilt on the person on the receiving end or, in the opposite extreme, the celebrity worship that often follows pastors.

So the title of the post has to do with how a Christian is supposed to live. This isn't "invisible" as in hide in the sense of cowardice. Invisible simply means that the Christian isn't to wear it as a badge. The Christian is called to let his light shine before men.

And that light is something other than the person. That light dims the more the person interferes with it, trying to capture it, manipulate, stamp an agenda on it. No, the Christian is called to be a beacon of light and the way that happens is by becoming more and more invisible.

This isn't the merging into one in the sense of the traditional eastern philosophies or the fana of the Muslim mystic. The person does not disappear but allows what is unique in his life, in his experiences and in his position to be bathed in this light so that others may also bathe in its glow.

This is difficult as it requires surrender. Even though this is removed from its context, it still resonates:

"...but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence... (1 Peter 3:15)

'Sanctify' means to acknowledge and 'defense' means to be able to explain. But the key in this is the asking part.

How many of us are living a life that people want to know what it is about us that is different? How many of us just blend in or, on the flip side, are obnoxious about our faith?

Are we so interested in being relevant, in being cool, in not standing out, that we are hindering the light we are supposed to be shining?

Or are we so hung up on feeling pressured to "witness" to others (to earn rewards? guilt assuagance?) that we are hindering the light from shining through us?

Are we more interested in being right than being humble? Do we whip out the battle axe (i.e. Scripture) in an effort to beat down those who argue against us or have different ideas about doctrine?

Just thinking out loud. Again, this started in the context of what is called marketplace ministry. I agree with the idea that being in ministry doesn't mean being behind the pulpit.

But these slick tags just seem to become "multilevel marketing" efforts with guaranteed sales tactics that will earn gold stars to put on heaven's refrigerator door.

Surrender is so very difficult...

Biblical Criticism and Theology Lite

Of all the scholars working today my favorite is perhaps James Kugel, former Harvard professor, now working in Israel. His books Traditions of the Bible and, most recently, How To Read The Bible, stand as testaments (no pun intended) to holding both religious faith and modern Biblical criticism in check.

There's something quantum in this. I think the struggles many have with this notion is that we like things in black and white, either/or. Nothing in life works that way (until we make a decision, that is...). I'm reminded again of another physics metaphor, that of the Feynman diagram...

Anyhow, we can hold two seemingly opposite things in tension without becoming dysfunctional. Did Moses write the Torah? If he didn't, does that change our faith or just our assumptions? If the events of Genesis did not "literally" happen, does this change our faith or just our assumptions?

Of course, if it's true, what then? Are scholars lying, the whole scholastic enterprise a "secular" plot to destroy faith?

If, if, if...

I'm reminded of the story attributed to Zhuangzi about the fishing net. Once you have the fish, do you still need the net?

So, let's say the Bible brings us to that place where we experience Truth at the deepest level of our being. This isn't Truth experience as sugar coating pain or regret or guilt or the emotional, feel good experience that comes with the rush of a good Pentecostal service.

This is that experience of which all who have experienced Truth just know.

So let's say you've experienced it and have experienced it through Biblical faith. What is the litmus test?

It isn't how much you know. It isn't whether or not Genesis was written by Moses. It isn't whether or not God dictated every jot and tittle of the Tanakh. It doesn't depend on whether or not the Gospels can be harmonized. All these things rely upon faith.

But what if it is true that these things are not factually, verifiably true? Will your faith crumble?

The strange thing about this is that I am coming out of roughly ten years or more of this struggle. And my faith is intact. Granted, there is a Zen-like, quantum entanglement kind of nuance to it, but it is still a strong Biblical faith nonetheless.

What is my litmus test? It isn't what I know. It isn't how well I quote Scripture. It isn't whether I can recite the creeds, pray or speak in tongues or whether I tithe. None of those things are really the fruits of which Jesus (or Paul, for that matter) speak.

No, the litmus test is how other centered we are, not out of lack but out of abundance, out of genuine concern for the others. If we love God, we must love others (even those who rattle us).

That, my friends, is the litmus test.

Any other litmus test is divisive.

(That wasn't where I intended to go with this post...I actually meant to talk about faith in the workplace...)

Hiatus...

Time for some gut level honesty and a reality check.

Need to spend less time externalizing ideals, judgments and illusion and more time living in authenticity through surrender.

In the words of Brueggemann, it is time to "nurture, nourish, and evoke a consciousness and perception alternative to the consciousness and perception of the dominant culture around us" which is, in his words, the royal consciousness that seeks to numb us.

As Moses freed the Israelites from the royal religion of Egypt, as the prophets sought to awaken the Israelites again from their slumber under Solomon's royal religion, so to do we today, and in every age, need to be aware of the Church today as it is so often part and parcel of the royal religion of Empire which continues to keep us numb.

The reading list:

The Powers That Be: Walter Wink

The Prophetic Imagination: Walter Brueggemann

The Politics of Jesus: John Yoder

How to Read the Bible: James Kugel

And, of course, The Bible, NASB version.

See ya' soon...