The day after my last post, I made a decision to change my mindset. It wasn't instant and it wasn't some pep talk that did it (I'm an INTJ, I'm just not wired that way). But I decided, with a sprinkle of faith, that I would pause before allowing my thoughts to run away with me. That was the decision.
It was conscious and it was intentional and it actually brought me some peace I haven't felt in quite some time.
Without going into the details of my work (which I may, over time, do but that will turn into a book), I walked in to one of our facilities and ran into the one of the ownership's family who I've grown to know a little bit. For some reason she thinks I am positive and always cheerful. I can't say I always feel that way but sometimes God will allow people to see you a certain way.
We talked for a while and ended up on the subject of gratefulness and she proceeded to remind me how fortunate (religious folk would say 'blessed') we are to be employed and employed at a company where management cares about people. And it hit me hard. She wasn't trying to push this on me, it was just conversation, but I was instantly convicted. For all my complaints about work are, in the end, my issue and my attitude, though perhaps not visibly displayed, has been ungrateful.
Later that day, another high ranking management team member gave a leadership presentation at a local community development agency using John Maxwell's 15 Invaluable Law of Growth. Our pastor is a certified Maxwell Life Coach and it's good stuff by my 'self help fatigue' often sets in and I struggle to listen to more of it as after a while it's easy to miss the good stuff in the midst of the sameness of it all.
But today, I was open. I have much respect for him and was excited to hear his presentation. He touched on two of the laws and they too hit hard.
Good management of bad experiences leads to great growth. I have not been managing bad experiences lately and have not been growing. In fact, I have been allowing the pain to control me and dictate my mood, my decisions and my overall well-being.
And like a punch to the gut, gently, was the law of the rubber band. A rubber band only works when it is stretched and it is right at the point of tension where growth, where stretching, occurs. I have not been allowing myself to stretch; I have been an old, worn rubber band ready to break.
And then...as if that wasn't enough.
On Quora, where I frequently find myself lately, I voiced an opinion about a Biblical topic of which I have a surface level understanding and was met with an incredible exposition and, after some banter in the comments section, words of cool refreshment poured straight out of Scripture that reminded me without Him I can do nothing.
It was the coup de grâs, the trifect, the three pointer at the buzzer. It was the Holy Trinity giving me a nudge.
I am in His embrace even in the midst of my struggles laid out over the past few months and years here and He is letting me know that it's ok and to let go, to surrender. Because when we do, we find Him there and, as Scripture says, His yoke is easy and His burden is light.
Circumstances don't necessarily change; we do and our circumstances look different.
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