I'm done. I have officially checked out of contemporary Christianity. Just, done.
I've been fighting this for many years, long before the insanity that is 2020. The 2016 election threw the grenade when it became expressly clear that the distinction between Christianity and America, Jesus and Americans, not only blurred but were formally merged.
Chris Tomlin songs, Bethel muddled lyrical theology and overall weirdness as folks look for a buzz, the next big thing, an escape from the travails of the world into our gated communities and socially safe enclaves, all in the name of Jesus and the 'miraculous' just drove me to realize that it has become incredibly selfish in its manifestation.
Does it help people? Sure it does, in a 'moral therapeutic deism' kind of way, a self-help for the soul. For those so healed, this is not a bad thing, not at all. Off drugs, save your marriage, give up addictions, get your life on track? Absolutely ok.
However...
Something is amiss. I can't find Jesus in it. Rather than seeking holiness, we seek morality. Rather than seeking Who He is, we seek to explain how He benefits us. Rather than focusing on the Trinity, we've got horribly muddled theology that is primarily Christocentric and veers headlong toward Sabellianism, Nestorianism, or any of the other host of theologies that violated the doctrines, those boundaries of the Church.
Rather than bathing in the Trinity, we seek the Spirit separately and independently, as if He can be extracted from Jesus for an individual experience with Him alone. The Father? He's there somewhere, usually given lip service in our prayers. The Resurrection? We use this over and against all the other 'prophets' who are dead rather than weaving into this into the 'event' of the Incarnation.
Yes, I've been swimming in Eastern Orthodoxy and it makes me realize just how much my longing is being filled, at least through books, music, and the services available online.
Am I running away rather than toward? I don't believe so. I do nothing slow. If you look at my posts over time you'll see clearly that this goes back at least a decade. This has been a slow process, primarily out of habit but also because of family and others who will be impacted.
I worked through Islam for about seven years, five quite fervently, and ultimately walked away from that as an option on my own volition and because understanding as deeply as I could without leaping in realized it wasn't the path for me. I just couldn't move past Jesus though I didn't have the full depth of how He was understood in the Church.
So there were some good years after walking away from that path but this didn't last as you can see from many of my posts. I don't want a cultural Christianity. I don't want politics with my Jesus, I don't want a cup of coffee with Jesus, a Mountain Dew with Jesus, ride a Harley for Jesus, or get His name tattooed on my skin, no hip Jesus, no cool Jesus, no macho Jesus, nothing.
I want Jesus straight, no chaser.
And I want a more proper understanding of the Father, Son and Spirit, not some belief statement handed down and given lip service on a web page.
And I am finding freedom in this path and bondage in the other.
We'll see where this leads...
